Trusting God: Foundational to our Faith

I’ve become more and more convinced that Trusting God is foundational to my faith.  As I continue to study and use The Peacemaker by Ken Sande with my reconciliation clients and combine it with Trusting God (Even when life hurts) by Jerry Bridges, I have come to believe that we have to understand God before we can trust Him and we have to trust Him in order to really obey Him.  This makes sense when I think about it from a personal perspective.  Those people that I trust in any substantive way are those I know well enough to understand their priorities and values.  Without this level of understanding, I just can’t be comfortable they will protect that with which I entend to entrust them.  We have to understand God the same way before we can really trust Him. 

By trusting God, I mean that we are willing to truly turn over to Him and His care all those people and things that are most important to us.  But even more than that, I mean being willing to truly obey God from our hearts, for it is our hearts that God desires most.  Without trusting God, it is difficult to truly obey Him from our hearts because so often what He calls us to is counterintuitive.  As Isaiah 55:8 states, “…neither are your ways my ways, ” declares the Lord.  The more counterintuitive the direction, the more important our trust in God becomes.  When we truly trust Him, we can follow His direction with confidence regardless of what the world might have to say.  More next time about the understanding that leads us to trust.

The Olive Branch – An Introduction

From Old Testament times and ancient Greece and Rome to the present day, the olive branch has symbolized peace and gestures of reconciliation and goodwill.

Regardless of how the olive branch got its meaning, peace and goodwill are in short supply, whether we are considering the world as a whole or our individual relationships.

Relationships are too important to lose due to conflict. The Olive Branch is where people find peace in relationships.

All of us are involved in conflict at one time or another; unfortunately, many of us respond to conflicts in one of two negative ways:

We escape: We deny by pretending the problem does not exist, we refuse to take steps to resolve the problem successfully, or we run away (end a friendship, quite a job, get divorced, etc.);

We attack: We use force or intimidation, verbal attacks, or even physical attacks. Ultimately, we may pursue litigation although lawsuits usually damage relationships, diminish our Christian witness and often fail to achieve complete justice and restoration.

The Olive Branch proposes another response: Peacemaking and Reconciliation.

Our process emphasizes the following Biblical Peacemaking Responses:

• Overlooking minor offenses when possible
• Resolving our own conflicts through personal reconciliation and negotiation
• Bringing in a third party to provide coaching in these principles and
• Assist with mediation and/or arbitration.

Conflict within a relationship is much like an iceberg. The part above the water is easily seen and represents the material, or “stuff” issues in the conflict. For example: Do you owe me money? Do I owe you money? Do you get the children or do I? Do you pay this debt or do I? These are the kinds of issues that the courthouse handles. However, they are often the smaller part of the conflict.

The bigger part, although hard to see, involves the relationship, or “heart” issues, which is represented as the larger portion of the iceberg and sits beneath the water. These heart issues often are the driving and emotional force behind conflict. The courthouse is not equipped to deal with this aspect of conflict, and in truth, doesn’t even try to do so.

The Olive Branch offers a different approach to conflict resolution; one that is based on Biblical principles. Our aim is to bring peace to discord by following God’s blueprint for resolving conflict – the Bible.

Because our process depends completely on its Biblical foundation rather than our fallible human skills, we believe it is God-honoring as it guides people to resolution of both material and relationship issues.

So, what if you’re not a Christian? What then? Many people who do not profess to be Christians have submitted disputes to our conciliation process and have been pleased with the results. Every major religious and secular philosophy has one of its tenets The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” (for example, Matthew 7:12) or its converse.

Following that principle, The Olive Branch promotes and follows values that are not limited to, or the property of, any particular faith or religion:

• being honest
• doing what is just and merciful
• accepting responsibility for your actions and admitting your wrongs
• keeping your word
• being concerned about the interests of others
• listening carefully to what others say
• overlooking minor offenses
• confronting others constructively
• being open to forgiveness and reconciliation
• changing harmful attitudes and behaviors
• making restitution for any damage you may have caused.

One question we are often asked is, “What if we can’t reconcile?” Our systematic process starts with an initial assessment followed by individual conflict coaching. If necessary, we move on to mediation, and ultimately to binding arbitration only if other approaches fail.

Avoiding Court – God’s Idea of Reconciliation

If you’ve ever been involved in any type of legal action where conflict is concerned, you know that this manner of resolving the dispute often heightens animosities and the end result usually means a destroyed relationship. In contrast, God’s Word teaches us to forgive. At The Olive Branch we promote traditional values while preserving relationships, encouraging beneficial change, avoiding negative publicity, and providing a positive witness. Our process is also less constrained by rigid procedures thereby often providing faster results. All of this at a relatively expensive cost.

So does avoiding court mean simply allowing yourself to be a doormat? Not at all. But a court process usually fails to deal with the real causes of conflict such as pride, selfishness, fear, vengeance, greed, bitterness and unforgiveness. The legal process often remains focused on what one person did right and what the other person did wrong, leaving the parties a distorted view of reality.

Matthew 7:3-5 tells us, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

The Olive Branch seeks to help people identify root problems – the plank – and to make changes so that everyone can experience less conflict and healthier relationships.

There are indeed legitimate times where litigation is appropriate, including for the Christian. But if a dispute includes a personal difference between two Christians, we encourage that they try to resolve the problem in a personal way before looking to the courts to redress.

Conflict

All of us are involved in conflict at one time or another; unfortunately, many of us respond to conflicts in one of two negative ways:

We escape: we deny by pretending the problem does not exist, we refuse to take steps to resolve the problem successfully, or we run away (end a friendship, quit a job, get a divorce, etc.);

We attack: we use force or intimidation, verbal attacks, or even physical attacks. Ultimately, we may pursue litigation although lawsuits usually damage relationships, diminish our Christian witness, and often fail to achieve complete justice.

At The Olive Branch, we pursue a third alternative – and so can you.

Biblical peacemaking response: Overlooking a minor offense, personal reconciliation or negotiation, and bringing in a third party to assist with mediation and/or arbitration.

You don’t have to struggle alone in your conflict, and you can find healing and restoration.